So, this isn’t something I told myself I would never write about but after giving it MUCH thought, maybe I NEED to write about it.
I suck at working out, I suck at eating healthy over long periods of time, I suck at commitment in this area period! I have been doing lots of researching lately and talking to people in my position and I am definitely NOT blaming my weight/health on my job, but I am REALLY starting to see how working shift work can mess with your life. Lots of these things are not new to me. About 10 years ago when I started there, I basically had to give up all my commitments. I could no longer commit to anything. I worked every other weekend, and switching from days to afternoon every other week. How can you commit to anything when you will miss every other week, if not more?! I made some attempts with school and a LIFE group, but it was SO difficult, I eventually gave up. I miss having a LIFE group, I wish I could play baseball and hockey again, I just want to be able to be a part of things again! Next Monday I start my new position where I work Mon-Thurs 8-4,….so I have high hopes for my life!!! 🙂
Another issue is sleep. I am one of those people, I don’t like to sleep in late – I feel like I have wasted my day if I do. PROBLEM – I am a night owl, so when I work til 11 it’s great, I often am up til around 2am. It used to be closer to 3 or 4am…but I am growing up!!!! The problem is then I wake up by 8 or 9am and just never get caught up on sleep.
Now, another issue is eating habits. When you work days – it’s fine, but when you work afternoons, I often don’t eat all morning til noon. Then dinner, you eat around 5…well by 11:30pm, you are hungry again. As you can see it’s a vicious cycle. I am REALLY hoping that working mostly 8-4’s will help this issue along with the sleep.
I have some goals, that a couple months ago, I would never have shared, but maybe I need to put it out there – accountability?!?!?
Last January I lost 24 pounds, and felt like I was on a FABULOUS path to taking control back. After a cruise in late February and some crappy realizations (I didn’t eat all that bad on the cruise and we were out walking etc every day – I gained like 8lbs in 10 days-depressing) I got peeved and gave up! Then when I got pregnant, I took the bull by the horns and lost weight, not cause I was vomiting every day-I was fine, but exercising daily and eating great. My Doctor was so proud! Since the miscarriage, I have been eating horribly. I definitely realized I am an emotional eater. BUT I need to stop this cycle. I want to exercise 4 times a week and continue to follow my fitness pal. I have been following MFP for months, but as of the last 6 weeks have probably been over in calories most days.
I have dreams. I want to be healthy for kids one day, I want to run a 5 or 10K, I want to join a running club, I want to play sports again and not feel insecure, I want to feel good again. I do go for walks a lot and love hikes, but I want the real deal – a race!!! I especially want to do this one day!!!! http://toughmudder.com/
I don’t ever want to diet or for this to be a fad, I want it to be a lifestyle change. I want to eat pizza sometimes, probably still drink Diet Pepsi and randomly go to BP, but overall, I just want this to be my lifestyle, not just for a season.
Cheers! Here we go again!!